November 2011
a quarter of a muffin
sometimes my new diet makes me sad. when I decide to cheat and have a sugary muffin I can only get through a quarter of it before I feel totally stuffed. sometimes I miss my insanely large appetite. but only sometimes. back then I felt guilty for eating two muffins, now I feel guilty for eating half of one.
I shouldn’t feel guilty at all, but it was a nice kind of guilty - the kind where you chose to cheat and that’s part of the pleasure. but now when I do cheat, it only lasts for a quarter of a muffin.
but I guess that’s a good thing, it means my old habits with food have truly altered since I started this thing two months ago with my family. I lost five pounds this month, if I lose another five by the end of the year I will practically be at my goal weight.
the whole process has made me feel so much better about myself, not because I have lost weight but because I am a healthier person, no longer indulging in food to fill up any holes my emotional problems leave.
but I am still not totally used to it, my brain still thinks I weigh what I did two months ago, I have to learn that the new lighter version of me can’t drink the same way I used to, and that my body desires healthy food, despite my brain sometimes telling me it still wants cheetos, ultimately my stomach rejects it.
my brain and body need to have a good conversation - start communicating damn it! my heart however, is doing just fine.
but this diet, combined with my emotional state, and my place in life at the moment - has been very revealing to me just how much one’s physical self affects one’s emotional self, and vice versa. why people, and doctors continue to deny that physical pain and emotions are connected is beyond me, as I have discovered first hand just how much they are a part of each other.
andibgoode said: I agree! I’m just not convinced she’s very good at acting. I also didn’t enjoy An Education as much as anyone else seemed to either.
I know! she isn’t horrible, I don’t think she is bad, but there are plenty of other cute pixie girls out there who might be better. I find nothing about her unique or remotely interesting. I don’t hate on her, I will probably still go see work she is in, but also as a fashion idol I see nothing interesting. I don’t find her to be very charismatic. I must have missed something because hollywood can’t seem to get enough of her.
I think she is just a safe choice, pretty beige.
I also did not find “an education” very compelling or a very good movie. there are so many better coming of age stories, I think people were impressed by the clothing and the British accents or something, but you can find better if you just take the time to do so.
always found carey mulligan to be totally completely overrated.
